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Karaoke Etiquette:
(Reprinted with permission of www.azkaraokealliance.com)
These are collected form all over the internet so we are not sure who to give credit for them.  If you wrote them... well, you're funnier than we are and thanks!

You May Be A Karaoke Junkie If…    WHY KARAOKE IS BETTER THAN SEX
Karaoke etiquette: The Ten Commandments Of Karaoke

Karaoke etiquette: 
These are more guidelines than hard and fast rules.. Bottom line is please be respectful of others and have a good time.  If we all treat each other with mutual respect everyone can have more fun.

Support your karaoke establishment. Let the place holding karaoke know you appreciate and support karaoke by spending a little money there. They have to pay the KJ and, sometimes, purchase disks and equipment. If you sit and drink water all night, every night, they're not making any money and may decide karaoke isn't a good idea.  If you do not want to drink we respect that, order some food!  Come by for lunch and say “Hi’ top the owner so you know they are getting your support.   So support the venue, bar, club or establishment you are singing in!

Drinking and smoking. Don't get your drinks or cigarettes on the microphones or other equipment. Microphones re expensive and no one wants them sticky and reeking of cigarettes.

Be nice to your KJ.  Do not yell at the KJ if your song has not come up. Different KJ’s use different methods for ordering the songs. Some KJ’s work strictly on a first come first served basis while others group songs by the type of music (a few rock songs then dance songs then slow songs...). Don't hang around the KJ nagging him/her for your turn.  On a slow night you might inquire as to how hey handle the rotation so you understand what is happening.

Please do not try to cheat the rotation. Do not try to sign up under different names or to sing multiple times with various duet partners. KJ’s try hard to keep the rotation fair and to see everyone gets to sing. Other singers get more than a little annoyed if you've sung twice before they've gotten to sing once. Trying to muck up the rotation may get you banned from singing at that venue.  Most KJ’s count duets as a turn of one of the 2 singers and limit the amount of duets any one person can participate in.  This keeps everyone at the table from signing up with one person who ends up singing every song.

Repeating of Songs.  Don't get angry if someone sings your song. There are a lot of songs to choose from so find another one! Similarly, don't put in the same song to try to show up another singer.  Most good KJ’s willnot allow songs to be sang twice in the same night…

Singing while drunk. While we understand that you might need a little "liquid courage" to get up to sing, please don't sing while you're obviously intoxicated. You might think you sound wonderful, but you probably don't. 

Respect your fellow singers. Remember that each singer has patiently waited on his or her turn to sing. Don't get up and sing along with them unless they ask for your help. Don’t go over and sing to them, as it throws them off.  It's also bad manners to sing so loudly from your table that you can be heard above them.  Try not to walk between the monitor displaying the words and the singer while they are singing.

Applaud for Everyone. Sometimes it’s time to applaud, just because the song is over and you do not have to hear them sing anymore.  No matter how talented the singer, offer your applause when he or she finishes performing. Even if the singer was off-key, it took courage to get up and sing. Besides, karaoke is more about fun than about having a professional talent level. Making fun of the singer reflects badly on you.

Respect the equipment and your fellow patrons. Never scream into the microphone or swing it around by the cord. (especially if it is wireless)  Not only does it NOT make you look cool, but the microphone could disconnect from the cord and hit someone. This practice could damage expensive equipment. NEVER scream into the microphone for any reason. It's childish and painful to the audience and it does not make you look cool either.  Remember speakers that may be on the ground are not drink stands and the KJ’s work area is definitely not a good place to park your drink.  Alcohol + Electronics is not a good mixture.

Remember Your Bartender, Servers and KJ. Bartenders and servers are what keep the food and beverages coming.  They live entirely on tips.  If you like the service and your KJ is doing a good job, remember to tip them. It's a tangible way to let them know you appreciate their good service.  Remember tips are for a good performance or great show.. not to get preferential treatment in the karaoke rotation.

Performance versus fun.  Remember Karaoke is all about fun, but also remember that many people spend time practicing and love performing.. be respectful of their performance and have fun as much as you can.  Try different songs as often as possible… No one wants to hear the same 3 or 4 songs form each person every week.  Expand your horizons by trying new songs.

Ballads versus Dance.  We usually tell people they can warm up with a ballad, but once we get going, try to keep it upbeat.  People come to clubs to have a good time, so unless you are just going to knock it out of the park with your vocals, please keep it upbeat, so everyone can have a great time!

The Ten Commandments Of Karaoke

Commandment #1: THOU SHALL not jeer, heckle, boo, harass or otherwise interrupt a singer. Be supportive.

Commandment #2: THOU SHALL not drink to the point of intoxication if you are planning to perform.

Commandment #3: THOU SHALL not whine about when your next turn is.

Commandment #4: THOU SHALL not be upset if another performer sings a song you were planning to sing.

Commandment #5: THOU SHALL not use foul language when at the microphone.

Commandment #6: THOU SHALL not juggle, toss or flip the microphones. Respect the equipment.

Commandment #7: THOU SHALL not sing along louder than the performer. Respect the singer.

Commandment #8: THOU SHALL not join in with a singer unless you are invited.

Commandment #9: THOU SHALL not carry on loud conversations next to the stage.

Commandment #10: THOU SHALL APPLAUD! Everyone who performs deserves some attention.

WHY KARAOKE IS BETTER THAN SEX

- With Karaoke, you're always sure you can find someone worse than you are.

- You don't feel obligated to buy someone dinner for singing Karaoke with you.

- When you sing Karaoke, it's OK to have multiple partners.

- It's OK to sing Karaoke with your sister.

- With Karaoke, you never have to be sorry about forgetting your lines.

- It's OK to drink too much and sing Karaoke.

- With Karaoke, no one will complain about the size of your microphone.

- It's OK to sing Karaoke in front of your neighbors.

- You'll never feel uncomfortable knowing your parents still sing Karaoke.

- No one complains about a 3-minute Karaoke performance.

You May Be A Karaoke Junkie If…

1. If you've had Karaoke KJ's call you at home to come help start a new show. And call back because you aren't there yet.

2. If the Karaoke host has called your name accidentally because YOU always sing the song they just loaded.

3. If you get upset because some newcomer has picked the song YOU always sing.

4. You clap when a song finishes on the radio.

5. Strangers walk up to you in Wal-Mart and compliment you on your singing.

6. People you don't know ask, "Aren't you a karaoke singer?"

7. You get ticked when you are skipped in the rotation.

8. Songs on the radio don't sound right because _____or _____ isn't singing them.

9. You hear a song on the radio and think, that's number 7503-10.

10. You don't wear "the hat" and nobody knows you.

11. You find yourself engrossed in the philosophical ramifications of "American Pie."

12. You go to a concert and wonder when they're gonna call you up to sing.

13. You go to a concert and all the time you're thinking "I could do that."

14. You write lists like this on the back of karaoke slips.

15. Last call comes and you say, "But I've got another song yet to sing!"

16. You have laryngitis and you still try to sing.

17. You know you've got to get up at 6:30 am and you still close the bar down.

18. There's 12 inches of snow on the ground and ice on the roads and where are you? THE KARAOKE BAR!

19. Someone asks you if you have a slip, and they're not talking about underwear!

20. You remember the number of over two songs by memory.

21. You know everybody's first name but not their last name.

22. You know the location of every late night restaurant within five miles of the bar.

23. You know the location of every karaoke bar within 50 miles of your house.

24. When you're not at the karaoke bar by 10:30 people call your house to find out what's wrong.

25. You would never consider dating someone with a bad voice.

26. Anything brighter than neon lights hurts your eyes.

27. Someone suggests going dancing instead and you're appalled.

28. Your stock reply is, "You mean there's a bowling alley here?"

29. That comedian on TV that makes fun of karaoke really makes you mad.

30. You see karaoke on TV and you think, "That's not the way it's done!"

31. You actually know that karaoke means "empty orchestra."

32. It feels weird to go to a new karaoke bar and not sit at the "regulars" table.

33. You get upset when someone else is sitting in your place.

34. You hate it when someone sings your song.

35. The songs, "Love Shack", "Friends In Low Places" and "American Pie" really annoy you (unless of course YOU want to sing them).

36. Someone refers to "the longest song in the book" and you know what they're talking about.

37. The word "rotation" no longer conjures up thoughts of tires or sex.

38. You've ever browsed the net under the heading "Karaoke."

39. You've ever called a wrecker to take you and your car to Karaoke.

40. A new person who sings well is automatically your friend.

41. Your new best friend is somebody who does the same type songs as you.

42. You can't name five presidents, BUT you know all the members of Kiss and the Eagles.

43. You know the entire intro to "Baby's Got Back."

44. You think, "What's this creep going to sing?" And you're determined to sing them under the table.

45. You've picked karaoke songs to be sung at your funeral. (Your spouse says this ain't happening!)

46. You wonder what ever happened to what's his name, you know he sang _____.

47. You've ever received an emergency call at the bar.

48. You think you sound better than the original.

49. You can still sit still after listening to "Love Shack" 5,000 times.

50. Someone suggests an after party and you ask, "Do you have a karaoke machine?"

51. You can't remember the words to a song you've heard all your life without "the screen."

52. You and three other people have sung "Friends In Low Places" after the karaoke has closed down.

53. The first thing you think when you hear a new song on the radio is, "When is this coming out on karaoke?"

54. You call the karaoke store and hound them about a disk.

55. You try to learn 14 songs you don't really like.

56. You consider beer a lubricant for your vocal chords.

57. It takes you 15 minutes to hug everybody goodbye.

58. You feel cheated if they don't get karaoke started right on time.

59. The term kamikaze has nothing to do with Japan or planes.

60. Your house guests get to your house one-and-a-half hours before you do.

61. You're a woman but you're still willing to sing the guys part.